break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
