she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
