Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think I sprained my soul last night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
