he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
