I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
