I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
