So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
