party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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