so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
