he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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