Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
