his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
