I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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