Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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