so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
