Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
