his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We are all done wearing pants today
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
