I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
