were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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