I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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