Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
