I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
