All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
