omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
