He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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