if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
