Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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