if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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