is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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