I'm eating all of the evidence.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
