Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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