Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this just has baby written all over it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
