one might say we're banned from that church
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize