It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
