She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
