We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
