I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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