i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
false alarm, still single
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
