Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
