Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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