It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Drunk is not a location!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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