this boner is exhausting
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
