census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
