Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
