So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
