OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
