he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
