She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
