your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
