you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
